I was reminded while reading Donna's latest post of when I first realized that God loved me as much as He loves everyone else. It was a pretty life changing occurrence.
You see, I have never had a problem knowing or trusting that God loves you, but I have had trouble believing He loves me. (as I have mentioned in my previous blog)
A year ago March, I was skiing mogals-bumps-at one of the popular Colorado ski mountains. I was having a wonderful time. The snow was perfect, not a cloud in the sky, a beautiful Colorado ski day. Half way down the mountain I realized that I was not alone, that someone was skiing beside me. I didn't stop but looked over and there was Jesus skiing right beside me. He was delighting in my enjoyment of His creation. He was dressed in the white muslin robe you see Him in (typical Biblical dress-of course not the best clothes to ski in). All I really remember are His eyes and mouth. His eyes were squinting in the bright sunlight filled with love and joy and He had the biggest grin on His face-one that you could not wipe off. It communicated to me how much fun He was having and how much He loved me and delighted in my passion for skiing.
Needless to say, I too was wearing the biggest grin on my face. To actually have my Lord and savior appear to me and not only that...joining me in something I love and Him delighting in my enjoyment. I was truly blessed. I wanted to share this with everyone.
The next day I was back at work. The shift had been extremely busy and stressful and I was feeling overwhelmed and irritable. I retreated to my call room for a few minutes but I couldn't hide -I am attached to a beeper and a mobile phone-. All I wanted was a few minutes of peace and quiet. My husband happened to call during this time and I just lashed out at him at some little innocent remark that I had no patience for. I regretted the tone and words as soon as they were spoken and mentally started to beat myself up. As the tears welled up in my eyes I looked over and there sitting beside me in the call room was Jesus. The same Jesus who had been skiing with me on the ski slopes the day before. You know what? He had the same squinting eyes and was smiling at me with that same huge grin from ear to ear. Without a word spoken I heard "I delight in you Katrina, I love you as much today at this very moment as I did yesterday skiing down the mountain with you. There is nothing that you can do to make me love you more than I do at this very minute or nothing you can do to make me love you less".
Life changing.
Seeing Jesus loving me the same way He did when I was being hateful as when I was full of joy opened my heart and I was able to believe how much He truly loves Me.
God cares enough for you and for me to send His one and only son to us so that we may have life and life in the fullest. He wants us and He pursues us to have an up close and personal relationship with Him.
WOW!
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4 comments:
Katrina,
That is awesome. I have never seen Jesus, only heard Him and felt him. Hang on to that it is precious. Don't let any one or thing separate you from the love of God. Hope all is well with you.
Be Blessed.
Lynn
Katrina,
What a privilege to have such a spiritual hapening. My dad was a very hard person. I never felt loved by him and overly loved by my mother. But I thank God for my mother, she is the one who took me to church and taught me about Jesus. My dad only went to the
2nd grade, could not read but could write his name. He was declared legally blind at the age of 55 - this is a genetic think I believe. He could see good enough to walk over town or other places he liked to go. He had a car at one time I was told but he had a wreck and would never drive again after that. He went to the church his mother went to (when he went). One Sunday a person walked up beside him and told him he was in their seat. He got up and told that person they could have it and he walked out. My mother and I attended a pentecostal church and we were able to get him to go some but never regularly. After he became sick with emphysema and water on his brain (low pressure) he just could not understand why he was sick. I would not remind him that he had smoked Camels for 40 years, he had quit 10 years before he got sick. He never would have believed me. I told him that the important thing was that he knew Jesus as his Savior and he told me he had taken care of that a couple years before. As he became worse I would stay with him on Sunday morning so mother could go to church and she stayed with him that night so I could go to church. One Sunday I was flipping through the TV channels and came to Jimmy Swaggert. I never really liked to listen to him but he was about to give an alter call so I left it on that channel. When the sinners prayer was prayed I looked at my dad and his lips were moving and his head was bowed. He was repeating what was being said. Also before he died he told my husband and my mother that he was going to die, he said it was like voices in his head. On a Thursday he was talking with a neighbor on the phone and he told her he was going to die soon. She said we all will die sometime, but daddy was emphatic, he stuck with the fact that he was going to die soon. The following Sunday morning, 3 days later, our phone rang and it was my mother saying daddy could not breathe. We lived right beside them. Before we could get clothes on she called back and said he was gone. He also told me one time when he was in the hospital that he had a dream that he went to Heaven and he could see. I said, "You love Jesus don't you?" With tears rolling down his face he said, yes.
My mother could hear him praying at night before he went to bed. He used to love the song Uncloudy Day. I don't know if you've ever heard it but recently it dawned on me that was exactly how his sight was, it was cloudy.
I don't know why I told you all this but I just felt impressed to. I truly believe I will see my dad again and I know I'll see my mother. She was a God fearing praying mother.
I hope you will stop by my blog. I've finally put what I call My Family Legacy on.
God bless you and thanks for all your posts.
AliceE.
Great post, Katrina. I had Holy bumps while reading that. Consider that a precious gift from your Savior to see Him.
Grasping Him,
Paula
Katrina,
Isn't Jesus the Greatest! He comes to us at our point of need and shows how much He loves and cares for us!
A wonderful story! Thanks for sharing!
Plant Lady
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